Geek, Nerd or Dork?

          OK It looks like people need an explanation on some very important terms.  The other day I was called a nerd by a friend of mine.  Now I wasn’t offended so much as confused, since I am not a nerd.  I’m not a nerd nor am I a dork, what I am is a geek and damn proud of it, but it seems no one seems to realize that there is an actual difference between a Nerd, a Dork and a Geek.  So here I am to set it straight.

Nerds are fairly easy to spot in an academic setting.  They are the guys trashing the curve studying on a Friday and a Saturday night.  Back in the day they carried pocket protectors and slide rules (I’m old, go look it up) now they carry... actually I’m not sure what they cary that’s different and i don’t hang around high schools, ever since the restraining order, but no matter what the time period the key to a nerd is a thirst for knowledge and academic success.  Most nerds are associated with glasses, computers and some love of math but that is only the most famous breed.   I have met English nerds who have found great thrill in reading Canterbury Tales, Ulysses and read the Russian masters for fun, I look at those and think “Kill me”.  Thanks to NY Public Libraries having such a wide range of Video’s I never had to worry about it.  I went to school with one kid who figured out how to ask for oral sex in Latin, I guess in case he went back in time. These are Nerds.  

A dork is some one who is socially inept, and don’t even know it. Somewhere along the line they never developed that little filter that says this may not be appropriate to share.  The biggest problem for dorks is they never out grew there dorky stage.  Every person has an awkward stage.  It’s just a part of growing up.  As you get older and you learn different things you realize not everyone has the same interests as you.  So maybe if you are that creepy kid who likes to play with spiders and snakes you don’t share that on a first date.  Or maybe you don’t tell a person who you are trying to make friends with about the last bout of diarea. As you grow up you learn what info you can share and what you may want to keep to yourself... except for dorks.  It’s ok that you like to make Dioramas of great moments in time using stuffed bunnies just keep it to your self for now. (I mean the kind taxidermist make not the kind you give to kids... or at least I hope you don’t give them to kids)  The people who never learn what is and isn’t socially acceptable, These are dorks.  

Now geeks... geeks are my people.  I have a kinship for anyone who is a geek because long ago when I read my first comic i realized i was one.  Now the key to a geek is not what they like... but how much they like it.  A guy with over 10,000 comic books is no different than a guy who goes to every home game of his favorite team dressed in a his team jersey driving a car with a vanity plate with the teams logo on it and if he isn’t married the guy has a ton of sport memorabilia around the house.  If he is married it’s all in one room unless, she is also a sports geek.  It’s the extremes that people take there hobbies to that makes them a geek.  Dressing up like a Klingon or a baseball player,  going to see star wars 187 times or seeing he same band 187 times,  Waiting in line all day to get an autograph from Angelina Jolie cause she was Laura croft or waiting in line all day to get an autograph from Angelina Jolie cause... well she’s fucking Angelina Jolie! I would wait in line to drink her bath water... but I’m digressing.  Anyway the point is these extremists who have found something that gives them joy even when it’s bad (ask me about the superman remake one day)  these are my people.

Now before I leave you just so there is some clarification I know some of you are wondering is there any overlapping.  The answer is hell yes! It is this over lapping that gives geeks a bad name.  See if you have a guy who is a geek and a dork you immediately assume all geeks are like that, but no most of the smart ones know to keep our geek habbits to ourselves.  A perfect example of this is the Drew Barrymore, Jimmy Fallon movie Fever Pitch.  Jimmy Fallon is a sports geek he has a good job, he charming, he’s funny but when it comes to the Red Sox he loses his damn mind.  I know guys who are like that with collectible card games, Comic books or Video Games... I myself nearly spent 150.00 on a game.  Not a game system, a fucking GAME!!! If I had the money I would have bought it with out a second thought.  I mean it’s HALO of course I would have spent the money.  

Anyway I hope this little guide has helped you and in the future make sure to insult people correctly.