Geek, Nerd or Dork?

          OK It looks like people need an explanation on some very important terms.  The other day I was called a nerd by a friend of mine.  Now I wasn’t offended so much as confused, since I am not a nerd.  I’m not a nerd nor am I a dork, what I am is a geek and damn proud of it, but it seems no one seems to realize that there is an actual difference between a Nerd, a Dork and a Geek.  So here I am to set it straight.

Nerds are fairly easy to spot in an academic setting.  They are the guys trashing the curve studying on a Friday and a Saturday night.  Back in the day they carried pocket protectors and slide rules (I’m old, go look it up) now they carry... actually I’m not sure what they cary that’s different and i don’t hang around high schools, ever since the restraining order, but no matter what the time period the key to a nerd is a thirst for knowledge and academic success.  Most nerds are associated with glasses, computers and some love of math but that is only the most famous breed.   I have met English nerds who have found great thrill in reading Canterbury Tales, Ulysses and read the Russian masters for fun, I look at those and think “Kill me”.  Thanks to NY Public Libraries having such a wide range of Video’s I never had to worry about it.  I went to school with one kid who figured out how to ask for oral sex in Latin, I guess in case he went back in time. These are Nerds.  

A dork is some one who is socially inept, and don’t even know it. Somewhere along the line they never developed that little filter that says this may not be appropriate to share.  The biggest problem for dorks is they never out grew there dorky stage.  Every person has an awkward stage.  It’s just a part of growing up.  As you get older and you learn different things you realize not everyone has the same interests as you.  So maybe if you are that creepy kid who likes to play with spiders and snakes you don’t share that on a first date.  Or maybe you don’t tell a person who you are trying to make friends with about the last bout of diarea. As you grow up you learn what info you can share and what you may want to keep to yourself... except for dorks.  It’s ok that you like to make Dioramas of great moments in time using stuffed bunnies just keep it to your self for now. (I mean the kind taxidermist make not the kind you give to kids... or at least I hope you don’t give them to kids)  The people who never learn what is and isn’t socially acceptable, These are dorks.  

Now geeks... geeks are my people.  I have a kinship for anyone who is a geek because long ago when I read my first comic i realized i was one.  Now the key to a geek is not what they like... but how much they like it.  A guy with over 10,000 comic books is no different than a guy who goes to every home game of his favorite team dressed in a his team jersey driving a car with a vanity plate with the teams logo on it and if he isn’t married the guy has a ton of sport memorabilia around the house.  If he is married it’s all in one room unless, she is also a sports geek.  It’s the extremes that people take there hobbies to that makes them a geek.  Dressing up like a Klingon or a baseball player,  going to see star wars 187 times or seeing he same band 187 times,  Waiting in line all day to get an autograph from Angelina Jolie cause she was Laura croft or waiting in line all day to get an autograph from Angelina Jolie cause... well she’s fucking Angelina Jolie! I would wait in line to drink her bath water... but I’m digressing.  Anyway the point is these extremists who have found something that gives them joy even when it’s bad (ask me about the superman remake one day)  these are my people.

Now before I leave you just so there is some clarification I know some of you are wondering is there any overlapping.  The answer is hell yes! It is this over lapping that gives geeks a bad name.  See if you have a guy who is a geek and a dork you immediately assume all geeks are like that, but no most of the smart ones know to keep our geek habbits to ourselves.  A perfect example of this is the Drew Barrymore, Jimmy Fallon movie Fever Pitch.  Jimmy Fallon is a sports geek he has a good job, he charming, he’s funny but when it comes to the Red Sox he loses his damn mind.  I know guys who are like that with collectible card games, Comic books or Video Games... I myself nearly spent 150.00 on a game.  Not a game system, a fucking GAME!!! If I had the money I would have bought it with out a second thought.  I mean it’s HALO of course I would have spent the money.  

Anyway I hope this little guide has helped you and in the future make sure to insult people correctly. 

Strangest Temp Job... So far.

So I start off on Monday and get there bright and early at 8:30, I asked for Mickey like the agency said,  but it's a new guard and he doesn't know who Mickey is, so I wait around for about a half hour till the receptionist gets there.  Now I have done a few temp assignments before and they always start a little rough but this one was just weird.  Now keep in mind I'm not in the best of shapes and I was never built for speed, I was built for stealth,  but to hear the guys I am working with complain about bending over and picking boxes I realize that these guys just like to complain. 


Anyway Joey who is the only one there shows me the mail room and where everything is.  I quickly realize that all he really does is wait till packages come in.  He gets what I would consider a fairly light mailing that day for an organization as big as his but hey everyone is used to different things.  So when he starts saying that they got hit hard today all I kept thinking is "This is going to be a breeze."  I soon regret that thought.  During the course of the day I find out all this guy does on a regular basis is receive, separate and  deliver all the incoming mail and deliveries and prep all out going mail.  A heavy mail day was when I prepped 800 envelopes that had to go out for a promotional.  Now by prep I mean run it through a machine that stamps it and seals it in less than an hour... and that was going deliberately slow cause there wasn't more to this job.

What amazed me was that this company has a facility management team made up of 7 people.  One supervisor, 1 engineer, 1 handy man, 1 mail room supervisor (Mickey who never showed up) 1 supply manager (Joey The guy who trained me) and 1 mail clerk (Freddie Who I was covering for)  and the receptionist.  The only reason I was hired was really to cover the receptionists break while the clerk was out on medical apparently he normally covers her breaks.  I was never introduced to the supervisor but I could figure out who he was by the way everyone acted when he showed up.  A lot of people saying "Look busy."  The handy man who was only there 2 months had been trying to find things to do he was so bored.  In the 2 Months he had been there he had repainted the light poles in the parking light repaired the broken power washer, power washed the entire building, repaired the elevator lights cleaned the outside camera housings, railings and generally did in 2 months what people who had worked there 15 years had never seen done. I never met the engineer but I think I saw him walking around.  The receptionist I discovered was watching episodes of Charmed when no one was around.  I think you are seeing a pattern here. No on had anything to do.

Now Joey, the guy who trained me was a little weird.  He had this short haired charlie Manson look about himself that disturbed me.  Add to the fact that he talks a lot and a I mean a lot, anyone who has hung out with me knows I talk a lot but I know that I will at least pause so the person I am talking to gets a word in.  Not with this guy.  I honestly believe I could have left and he would have kept talking.  But the guy didn't seem bad just a little weird.  I think what made it worse was he doesn't look at you, he looks to your side. as if he was talking to your shadow or some ghost that only he could see.

So I go back on day 2 for more of the same.,. but when I get there at 8:30 I figure I got a few minutes so I grab some breakfast sit down and eat,  and wait.  I see a few papers there I  sort those to who they go to and wait.... and wait... and wait... I finally find out that Joey doesn't show up till after 10 because he has a standing allergy shot he has to get on a weekly basis.  I find this out and proceed to try and find something to do.  Since I don't have any Internet connection All I can do is write in my mini Moleskin note book a couple of strips for the "8 spot".  There is just nothing to do.  There is so much down time I am literally burning out my blackberry texting friends and what makes things worse is they are hinting that this might turn into a permanent gig.  I need a job but I don't know if I could handle doing this all day with nothing else to do.  I mean if I had access to the Internet maybe... but truthfully I don't know if I could have handled it.

All these things leave my brain on the third day.  When I get there wait for an hour and Joey shows up and than Freddie shows up.  Now the first thing I think is what am I going to do if the guy I am covering for is there.  Than I hear this guy has some sort of medical condition and that is why they called me to come in,  they weren't sure if he was coming back.  Now apparently there was something shady about his medical but since he had all the paperwork he couldn't be fired, they were just hoping that he wouldn't come back.  So there I am sitting around helping a guy who I was supposed to replace and what sucks is I was doing the job better than him and he knew it.  He didn't say anything but he felt that I was a threat until I told him this was my last day.  It was so weird that when I got lunch I just drove around rather than eat cause I needed to clear my head.  I honestly felt like the day couldn't have been any weirder.  I almost thought I was on a reality show but it wasn't funny enough... just strange.  At one point one of the voices in my head just said "You know after you are done showing him up at his job why don't you just ask him if he needs pointers on satisfying his woman to."


It's sad that I am out of work and when they didn't ask me to come back I was ok.

The Hook Up

Ok I have started to develop another Comic strip idea and I am looking to the Web for inspiration. The new strip will focus on dating and relationships. As much as I enjoy writing @ The 8 Spot there are few chances to get into relationships. While i do get to dip into those themes sometimes I wanted to do something a little more about relationships. As such I am asking people to contribute there worse date story. You can either write it below or Email it to me privately at Section8comics@gmail.com.

And since i am asking for your stories I will tell you one of mine. It’s not exactly a date story but I think it’s funny.

So a few years ago I was in a wedding party in upstate new york. I have no idea where exactly all I do know was that except for my blood related family I was the only person of color for at least a half hour. So this was one of my first weddings where I was in the wedding party and I had heard that weddings make women horny so I’m thinking great maybe I can hook up. Than I find out I have to be there the night before because the wedding party has an entire bed and breakfast rented out. So the night before the wedding there are about 10 to 15 of us hanging out guys and girls. All the parents and kids who are to young have gone to sleep whle we were hanging out at the hall where the reception will be held. It was on the same property as the bed and breakfast and the Groom had gotten keys

So there we are dancing, drinking and just having a good ole time. When one of the guys mentions going to the lake, maybe do some moonlight skinny dipping. I wasn’t sure till this cute brunette named meredith comes up to me and says “come on it will be fun.” So like most guys who think with there penises I said “sure why not.” Now I am not a heavy drinker but I had a few glasses of wine and it gave me the courage to be a little smoother than I usually am.

We get down to the lake and I think Me and meredith are hitting it of fine. By fine I mean that I think I am going to get some. Since the only light out is moonlight no one sees that we are making out in our own corner.

Now I don’t have many rules when it comes to women but most of mine are non-debatable. One Safe sex is a must, I don’t know you that well I don’t care if you say it’s ok I am using a condom. Hell even with some of the girls I have known long time I will use a condom just to be safe. Second I don’t care if you have a boy friend but if you are married I am not messing with you. I will never cheat, but if a girl wants to get her freak on with me and she has a boy friend that is not my problem but the minute she is married she is off the market. I will never contribute to the destruction of a marriage. Third no one under 18... that’s not really my rule it’s something the government came up with.

Anyway Meredith seemed ready and she says lets go for a walk I quickly check for my wallet and realize that I left my wallet in my bag, in my room. which wouldn’t be a big deal except that’s where I had my condoms. I tell her give me 5 minutes I need to just get some protection. She says “hurry Back.” and that’s exactly what I do, but apparently 4 minutes was too long for her cause she has gone missing.

I ask around casually and one girl goes “Oh Meredith probably went into the woods with Tony.”
“What?”
“Yeah, Tony is Meredith’s Ex.”
“WHAT?”
“I just hope that Bobby doesn’t find out tomorrow.”
“who is Bobby?”
“Meredith's husband.”
“WHAT!”

Yes Meredith was married. I was so upset over this I decide to finish of several bottles of wine.

The next day at the wedding I only really remembered 2 things. Sweating out the alcohol while wearing a tuxedo in the hot June sun. And that Bobby was wearing a Charles Manson t-shirt to a wedding. Granted he did not actually attend the ceremony just showed up to pick up Meredith but it made an impression.

So again if you want to send me one of your stories. Post it here or contact me at Section8Comics@gmail.com

IT'S ALL FUN & GAMES...

The clip below is a little accident that happened during a prank war at the Wizard Con at Philly '06. It started at the Chili's near the convention center. I sent my check to the table that JP, Bryant, Julien and Marc were eating at. They, in response, sent their check to our table, a check that was about 3 times the amount they had originally sent to the kiddie table. 

In retaliation I walked over and slapped the bill on Julien's forehead where it stayed glued to his forehead.

The next day Marc and the rest decided to make it look like someone had broke into the room and stolen our stuff. In actuality they just made a mess. 

After I stopped laughing at the mess they made, I put on an angry face and yelled at them and read them the riot act so they would clean the room. Later that night while Wilson, D, Tom Chu and Bryant (AKA Lanky) were watching a Star Wars movie I sneaked into the other hotel room and stole all there soap, shampoo, deodorant and toothpaste. When they discovered this the next morning they accused Lanky of betraying them to the other room, than they took the following steps.

Ghetto Games Part 1

I think one of the things I miss most about being a kid was Ghetto Games. For those of you who didn't grow up poor. A ghetto game was something you could pay with little money. Footballs and baseballs are not that cheap but could usually be stolen from a school or a youth center, if you were slick enough. For the more God fearing kids some would just save up their allowance and trust me at $2-$5.00 a week that could be a long wait. Or that could be your one gift it was Christmas. So on a block with 10 kids at least one would have a football or a basketball. Now you never really needed anything other than a ball to play a game in the ghetto in the 80's. Except maybe a spray paint can.

See basketball is supposed to be played with a hoop. But sometimes the hoops would be stolen from the parks. Enter the spray paint can. You get a spray-paint can, which any body could get for cheap, you find any flat surface where you could draw a small box slightly larger that the ball at roughly hoop height. Than if you want to be fancy you lay out a half court in front of the wall but more often we used things like sewer caps and light poles as our markers for out of bounds. So it's entirely possible that you could get checked into a brick wall a light pole or an oncoming car, depending on how close the score is.

With stickball if you could find an empty lot to play with a wall you didn't need a catcher, because the wall became the catcher. See you paint a box on the wall that was roughly the size of a torso to create a "batters box. If you pitched the ball and the batter did not swing but you got it in the box it was counted a strike, and the ball would usually bounce back. So paint was actually pretty helpful in setting up some of the rules.

But the game I played the most was Street Football. The super bowl has nothing compared to the intensity of a simple game of street football. People would actually come out to see us play and would root for different players. There was no such things as teams cause we were all from the same block so 2 guys would choose up teams. And it would usually be 6 to 10 kids playing and each game was just as important and different as the next or last. Now we usually played 2-hand touch but that does not mean it was a gentle game. In fact I have a dent in my head named after Street football.

See what happened was it was a 3 on 3 game and we were down by 2 TDs and time was running out. (meaning the sun would be going down soon) And I'm not a fast guy but I used to have pretty good hands. So John (the QB) was going for a Hail Mary and I was running as fast as I could go trying to catch that damn football. I see it. Hell, I can fucking taste it, because I know I can make this catch. I just have to jump up and we'll be one more TD closer to a tie and if we tie at least we can't get bitched out. Because we all know bragging rights are the most important thing when you are growing up.

So I'm running, I'm seeing the ball, I'm running, I'm running, I jump... and than I wake up with my cousins and friends standing over me saying "is he dead?" "I don't know but who's going to tell his aunt?" "John can tell her, Eric's his cousin." "If he's dead can I have his kicks?"

"You're not taking my sneakers." I say as I start to become aware of my surroundings. Now as near as I can piece together after I jumped I went head first into light pole. And knocked my self the fuck out. The cool thing is I had just performed such an incredible stunt in the fact that I had stood back up and was willing to play some more, I didn't want to be called a bitch. But John and Randy wouldn't let me. Since my aunt was a nurse they made me go tell her what had happened while they hid. All in all it was a great game, even with the bleeding from the ear.