So I was working a Convention in a museum with my Business Partner Wilson. As soon as Wilson stepped away for a moment this rather studious looking gentleman came up and I went into the whole spiel about our books and what I had to sell. After I mention that I'm also the company owner the following conversation occurs.
Science Geek: So you started your own company so you could have your ideas published?
Me: Pretty much. I also try to help other writers and artists.
Science Geek: Well I have this great idea see I am a geologist and there is so many great stories that can be created. Especially when you add in all that we know about various dinosaurs and animals that are extinct but because their skeletons are preserved in rocks we really have a wealth of data…
Me: Well we have a submissions page on our website so you could send me a proposal. (I hand him one of our flyers with our website on it.)
Science geek: I don’t have the time to write it and I’m not really a writer but I figured if I gave you the idea when it sells we could split the money.
Me: Wait you want me to write a story based on your knowledge of science but you don’t have a character concept, a story or even the time to write up a proposal. Than I have to spend my money to get artists to work on it and hope it hits big so I can give half to you?
Science Geek: Yeah, it will make you millions. I know it!
Me: Thank you but that doesn’t seem like a project that I would be interested in working on.
Science Geek: Don’t you want to be Rich?
Me: No, No I don’t.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
The Last Tough Generation
Now this will sound a little like bragging but I believe I came from the last tough generation in history. I'm sure everyone says that this is just part of the whole "kids have it so easy today blah blah blah." No this has nothing to do with that. Each generation will always have it slightly easier than the one before, that's just the nature of time, technology and the normal human desire to see there kids live easier than themselves. This has more to do with seeing a difference in the way kids are raised today. See I grew up with all these stories of serial killers who were all abused and molested. So somewhere along the way a logic jump was made that we can’t discipline our children physically. Which is some bullshit. Everyone learns through positive and negative reinforcement I don't care what scientist, sociologist or any other fucking "ist" says. If you learn that if you do good things good thing happen you keep doing good things and the opposite is true. If a child knows that if he is disrespectful to his elders he will get the shit kicked out of him he tends to be more respectful.
One night while stopped at a red light two little shits walking across the street stopped in front of the car to talk to some one else. When the light turned red I honked the horn. The kids moved to the side but as I started to move one of the little failed abortion started yelling at me "Why you fucking honking your horn!!!" I stopped my car and started to back up the kid started moving fast and there is no way I am going to win a foot race with 14-year-old punk. In retrospect I should have hit him with the car.
When I was growing up I would never have mouthed off to some body... Hell I wouldn't of stopped in front of a car at a green light. Why? I been hit a lot by the time I was 16 and I learned i didn't like that. See my dad was a hard drinking partier who didn't always come home, but we knew which bars to find him if we needed to. My mom was slightly more responsible but much more bitter about having to watch her own kids.
So it was not uncommon for my brother and I to be shipped to my aunt's house while my dad and mom "went to go see a man about a horse." I always wondered what fucking horse till I figured out they were going to party so hard that they didn't want to kids to see them wrecked the next day and that must have been fucking Olympic levels of debauchery cause I have seen my parents fucked up so many times that whatever happened on "those" weekends must be something so spectacular that I can only imagine animal erotica was involved. And trust me that image has often made me wonder if I should just eat a bullet rather than contemplate it as far as I have.
Anyway on a number of occasions I would eventually screw up in some way while my father was in some form of intoxication and I would eventually be beat. My parents don't remember these disciplinary steps to well but I do. By the time I graduated High school I had been hit with my fathers hand, a belt, a switch (A type of branch), a phone chord, a phone, a shoe, a can opener (Both kinds), a frying pan, a portable radio, the bible, a base ball bat, a can of creamed corn (closed), a plastic bottle of baby powder, a soft ball (there not really soft) A chanqlueta (flip flops), a Frisbee, a car and a few other items. By the way I am missing gaps from my childhood memory.
The other thing you have to realize was that it was totally acceptable for someone else to discipline your child. Granted my grandmother may have been a little crazy and gone too far on occasion. She would beat her grandchildren for the slightest thing. I remember getting beat because I was crying from a beating I had received 5 minutes earlier. Yeah the bitch was crazy in her later years she became a nice old lady but I know the truth she is trying to trick god so she can get into heaven. Hippies like to use the phrase it takes a village to raise a child. But kids from my neighborhood knew that it took an entire block to beat a kid's ass.
See not only could you not fuck up in front of your parents, you couldn't fuck up in front of your parents' friends cause they would smack you around a few times than tell your parent. So now you get beat for fucking up as well as embarrassing your parents in front of others. The worse thing is I know that my growing up was fairly tame compared to other kids. See these events were not daily. And I deserved to be disciplined but what would happen is the punishment would not match the incident. I grew up with kids who would just get beat for walking in the house. See I never viewed my life as the victim of abuse. Some people may disagree with me but to me that was just the price I paid for being a brat. But I knew kids who used to get hot irons to their backs. Cigarettes put out on them. See the difference between me and those kids were that even when they didn't do anything wrong. While I may not agree with my parents over how I was punished I've learned to understand that I should have been disciplined. Not necessarily with a can opener, than again I was a pretty big kid...
One night while stopped at a red light two little shits walking across the street stopped in front of the car to talk to some one else. When the light turned red I honked the horn. The kids moved to the side but as I started to move one of the little failed abortion started yelling at me "Why you fucking honking your horn!!!" I stopped my car and started to back up the kid started moving fast and there is no way I am going to win a foot race with 14-year-old punk. In retrospect I should have hit him with the car.
When I was growing up I would never have mouthed off to some body... Hell I wouldn't of stopped in front of a car at a green light. Why? I been hit a lot by the time I was 16 and I learned i didn't like that. See my dad was a hard drinking partier who didn't always come home, but we knew which bars to find him if we needed to. My mom was slightly more responsible but much more bitter about having to watch her own kids.
So it was not uncommon for my brother and I to be shipped to my aunt's house while my dad and mom "went to go see a man about a horse." I always wondered what fucking horse till I figured out they were going to party so hard that they didn't want to kids to see them wrecked the next day and that must have been fucking Olympic levels of debauchery cause I have seen my parents fucked up so many times that whatever happened on "those" weekends must be something so spectacular that I can only imagine animal erotica was involved. And trust me that image has often made me wonder if I should just eat a bullet rather than contemplate it as far as I have.
Anyway on a number of occasions I would eventually screw up in some way while my father was in some form of intoxication and I would eventually be beat. My parents don't remember these disciplinary steps to well but I do. By the time I graduated High school I had been hit with my fathers hand, a belt, a switch (A type of branch), a phone chord, a phone, a shoe, a can opener (Both kinds), a frying pan, a portable radio, the bible, a base ball bat, a can of creamed corn (closed), a plastic bottle of baby powder, a soft ball (there not really soft) A chanqlueta (flip flops), a Frisbee, a car and a few other items. By the way I am missing gaps from my childhood memory.
The other thing you have to realize was that it was totally acceptable for someone else to discipline your child. Granted my grandmother may have been a little crazy and gone too far on occasion. She would beat her grandchildren for the slightest thing. I remember getting beat because I was crying from a beating I had received 5 minutes earlier. Yeah the bitch was crazy in her later years she became a nice old lady but I know the truth she is trying to trick god so she can get into heaven. Hippies like to use the phrase it takes a village to raise a child. But kids from my neighborhood knew that it took an entire block to beat a kid's ass.
See not only could you not fuck up in front of your parents, you couldn't fuck up in front of your parents' friends cause they would smack you around a few times than tell your parent. So now you get beat for fucking up as well as embarrassing your parents in front of others. The worse thing is I know that my growing up was fairly tame compared to other kids. See these events were not daily. And I deserved to be disciplined but what would happen is the punishment would not match the incident. I grew up with kids who would just get beat for walking in the house. See I never viewed my life as the victim of abuse. Some people may disagree with me but to me that was just the price I paid for being a brat. But I knew kids who used to get hot irons to their backs. Cigarettes put out on them. See the difference between me and those kids were that even when they didn't do anything wrong. While I may not agree with my parents over how I was punished I've learned to understand that I should have been disciplined. Not necessarily with a can opener, than again I was a pretty big kid...
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Dangers of Being a Geek
I have been a geek for a long time and it's not easy, although it is almost always fun. Now you have to understand that while most people immediately think of Geek as a nerd that dresses in a Storm Trooper costume and goes to some sort of geek conventions. This is not the definition of a geek but merely an example. A geek is some one who takes any thing to an extreme. Yes you too might be a geek. Guys who go to weekly meeting of fantasy foot ball wearing some sort of uniform are geeks. People who go to kiss concerts dressed as members of kiss are geeks. And anytime you step outside of the norm you run a risk of being ostracized. But sometimes there are hidden dangers that people don't realize.
Like the Batman urban myth.
I first heard this story when my friends mother broke out laughing while reading a dear Abby column. As the story goes a guy coming home heard a woman calling out "help! Help!" The guy knocked on the door and asked if everything was ok and the woman said she could not open the door. because she was tied up. After breaking down the door the guy finds the young lady is tied to her bed dressed as a sexy robin while her husband dressed as batman is unconscious on the floor. Apparently The couple were enjoying some sex games where the husband was supposed to jump from the dresser onto the bed but hit the ceiling and knocked himself out leaving the wife tied up.
What makes this so funny to me is the whole conversation that brought this up.
"Honey tonight could we try something a little freaky?"
"Like what?"
"Well I was thinking we could dress up in costume tonight."
"Do you want e to be a hooker again?"
"Well I was thinking we could do something from comics"
"Ohh can I be cat woman or maybe Wonder woman."
"Well I was thinking more boy wonderish."
I wish this was the only crazy sex story I have ever heard involving geeks but well there is the whole world of Furries and Plushies. If you don't know what this is these are people who dress up as animals for fun. Now not all of them engage in kinky sex acts but some really get off on the idea pf doing it as an animal. As such some of the costumes can be really intricate. Well as the rumor goes one guy who was rather large and just getting into it had a really intricate panda suit made. While engaging in some carnal delights he didn't take into account how hot the costume got. Apparently not wanting to stop and get a glass of water he just kept going until he passed out.
Being a geek can be hard.
Like the Batman urban myth.
I first heard this story when my friends mother broke out laughing while reading a dear Abby column. As the story goes a guy coming home heard a woman calling out "help! Help!" The guy knocked on the door and asked if everything was ok and the woman said she could not open the door. because she was tied up. After breaking down the door the guy finds the young lady is tied to her bed dressed as a sexy robin while her husband dressed as batman is unconscious on the floor. Apparently The couple were enjoying some sex games where the husband was supposed to jump from the dresser onto the bed but hit the ceiling and knocked himself out leaving the wife tied up.
What makes this so funny to me is the whole conversation that brought this up.
"Honey tonight could we try something a little freaky?"
"Like what?"
"Well I was thinking we could dress up in costume tonight."
"Do you want e to be a hooker again?"
"Well I was thinking we could do something from comics"
"Ohh can I be cat woman or maybe Wonder woman."
"Well I was thinking more boy wonderish."
I wish this was the only crazy sex story I have ever heard involving geeks but well there is the whole world of Furries and Plushies. If you don't know what this is these are people who dress up as animals for fun. Now not all of them engage in kinky sex acts but some really get off on the idea pf doing it as an animal. As such some of the costumes can be really intricate. Well as the rumor goes one guy who was rather large and just getting into it had a really intricate panda suit made. While engaging in some carnal delights he didn't take into account how hot the costume got. Apparently not wanting to stop and get a glass of water he just kept going until he passed out.
Being a geek can be hard.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Friends Comics & Movies
This weekend I got to hang with some old HS friends and make some new ones. I'm constantly amazed at how lucky I have been in my friends. Growing up I didn't have a lot of friends and I guess you can say they were more situational friends than anything. Either we were in the same school or on the same baseball team but a lot of those friendships lasted until school was out or the season was up. Part of it was my own fault I'm clumsy, I stutter, I'm fat or at least that is what I thought. Why would anyone want to be friends with me?
Than the craziest thing ever happened I was kicked out of Catholic school and sent to Public school. Now I had been fights all the time in Catholic school and with all the horror stories my mom told me about public school I walked in there with a jail hose mentality. I was not going to be anyone's bitch. I created this shell that I wouldn't let anyone get past. I hardly spoke to anyone and after a while it affected me. I really didn't care about other people. If I did that would just give them a chance to hurt me.
Than I met this guy who really hadn't said much to me other than "hey, what's up" till he saw me pull out my comics. Now I have always loved comics since I first discovered them and when this kid asked to read mine I said sure. After that we always talked about the newest comics, eventually he invited me to go check out a movie with him and a couple of his friends. I like the guy and He got me with my second love movies, so I figure why not. I'll meet some of his friends maybe they will all be cool. Yeah they were real cool they stood me up. I was so heated when I was leaving I was just going to a pizza place I know and eat angry.
As I am walking out the theater I see them coming in... Apparently they got lost and had a mini adventure. I end up sneaking into the theater they are going into and check out another movie. After the movie as we are all walking home they tell me the story of how they got lost and ended up cutting through a cemetery, at night, in the Bronx. I was able to forgive them and from there Grew a few friendships and one person who I consider a brother.
Since than I have been lucky to meet some amazing people who I have been able to consider true friends. People who I have laughed with, Cried with, Even hated at times but when it's all said and done a friend is someone who is not there just when things are good but when the chips are down and I know I could call on any of them and they would do everything they can to help me.
I have a friend who is an artist who helped me go for my dream as a writer.
I have a friend who I don't get to see as often as I would like but to this day I love her as much as when we used to hang out every day playing cards and when we see each other it's like no time has past.
I have a friend that no matter how goofy I get I know he will not only accept me but join in on any crazy Idea I have.
I have a friend who has had more than 3 peoples share of problems but each time life tries to knock her down she picks her self up and just says "Is that all you got?"
I have a friend who whenever we talk I have to set an alarm cause we always loose track... I swear we were only talking 15 minutes not 4 hours.
I have 2 friends who are a couple who have always showed me nothing but love and have welcomed me into there home many times.
I have a friend who is so protective of me that she sometimes treats me like I'm her kid...Even though I'm older.
As I look at this list I know there are people who I have left out for one reason or another but I'm lucky to have made the friends I have and my life is better because of them.
What is a friend for? Through rich and through poor
Kinda like a marriage balanced on a different floor
A friend could tell you things that he wouldn't tell another
So in essence, a friend could be considered a brother
Than the craziest thing ever happened I was kicked out of Catholic school and sent to Public school. Now I had been fights all the time in Catholic school and with all the horror stories my mom told me about public school I walked in there with a jail hose mentality. I was not going to be anyone's bitch. I created this shell that I wouldn't let anyone get past. I hardly spoke to anyone and after a while it affected me. I really didn't care about other people. If I did that would just give them a chance to hurt me.
Than I met this guy who really hadn't said much to me other than "hey, what's up" till he saw me pull out my comics. Now I have always loved comics since I first discovered them and when this kid asked to read mine I said sure. After that we always talked about the newest comics, eventually he invited me to go check out a movie with him and a couple of his friends. I like the guy and He got me with my second love movies, so I figure why not. I'll meet some of his friends maybe they will all be cool. Yeah they were real cool they stood me up. I was so heated when I was leaving I was just going to a pizza place I know and eat angry.
As I am walking out the theater I see them coming in... Apparently they got lost and had a mini adventure. I end up sneaking into the theater they are going into and check out another movie. After the movie as we are all walking home they tell me the story of how they got lost and ended up cutting through a cemetery, at night, in the Bronx. I was able to forgive them and from there Grew a few friendships and one person who I consider a brother.
Since than I have been lucky to meet some amazing people who I have been able to consider true friends. People who I have laughed with, Cried with, Even hated at times but when it's all said and done a friend is someone who is not there just when things are good but when the chips are down and I know I could call on any of them and they would do everything they can to help me.
I have a friend who is an artist who helped me go for my dream as a writer.
I have a friend who I don't get to see as often as I would like but to this day I love her as much as when we used to hang out every day playing cards and when we see each other it's like no time has past.
I have a friend that no matter how goofy I get I know he will not only accept me but join in on any crazy Idea I have.
I have a friend who has had more than 3 peoples share of problems but each time life tries to knock her down she picks her self up and just says "Is that all you got?"
I have a friend who whenever we talk I have to set an alarm cause we always loose track... I swear we were only talking 15 minutes not 4 hours.
I have 2 friends who are a couple who have always showed me nothing but love and have welcomed me into there home many times.
I have a friend who is so protective of me that she sometimes treats me like I'm her kid...Even though I'm older.
As I look at this list I know there are people who I have left out for one reason or another but I'm lucky to have made the friends I have and my life is better because of them.
What is a friend for? Through rich and through poor
Kinda like a marriage balanced on a different floor
A friend could tell you things that he wouldn't tell another
So in essence, a friend could be considered a brother
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
What Love is
Ok just caught a movie on my Netflix called What Love is Starring Cuba Gooding, Mathew Lilliard Sean Astin. The actual story of the movie is simple; Cuba Gets to his home on Valentines night and discovers his girlfriend of 3 years has just left him. What follows is various rants on men, women, relationships and oral sex (One of the funniest scenes in the movie.) One of the best rants is not a real rant, in between Cuba Gooding Jr & Mathew Lillard screaming there heads of Sean Astin calmly tells about the 11th Man theory. The theory goes as follows:
"say there is a woman in a room with 10 men, and all 10 men are telling her how beautiful she is, and how amazing she is and they are lighting her cigarette and buying her drinks and just treating her like gold. Then all of a sudden in walks the 11th man, he takes one look at her and says "hey how ya doin'", turns his back on her and starts talking to his boys, THAT'S the guy she wants to be with, the 11th man, not any of the 10 men who were treating her well all night, but the one guy that couldn't care less, why? Because for some reason women don't want nice, they don't want real, they don't want to be treated well, I mean not at first and sometimes not ever, and I think that's crazy and I refuse to play that game .... get a girl by pretending that I don't like her, I wanna be with a woman who's real, who digs it when I'm nice to her, who doesn't see that as weakness or take me for granted when I tell her that I think she is more amazing than anything else in the entire world, but unfortunately most women aren't like that, they say they are, deep down inside they want to be, but ... they're not"
Now this theory strikes a chord with me cause as I get older I'm seeing the results of dating that 11th guy. A couple of Google searches indicate that the current divorce rate is about 43%. Many of my own friends are on there 2nd marriage or have long term relationships that can only be described as shit awful. And I don't know if the 11th man theory is the actual problem but how can a solution be found if the problem can't be identified.
I've always liked puzzles because no matter how hard the puzzle was you knew there was a solution. It could take me hours to figure it out but even if I couldn't figure it out I knew there was an answer, but not with people. You can not look on a woman's ass for a cheat code that gets you to the boss level. Trust me I've looked.
Near as I can see it there is one big problem between men and women... No one knows what's real. We read these books, watch these TV shows and see these movies and think that is how life will turn out. The couple getting together in the third act after a ton of obstacles makes for a great story but life doesn't have to be that hard.
Guys a woman will know within the first 5 minutes if she wants to sleep with you and nothing you will say or do will change that. Now like all rules there are exceptions but it will be a lot easier once you find out she is not interested in you if you assume the most you can ever be is friends.
Women a guy knows with in the first 5 seconds if he wants to sleep with you. The next 4 minutes and 55 seconds is spent figuring out if he wants more than that. A man's desire for sex is practically constant and when he sees a woman he know if he wants to have sex with her. But wanting to have sex and wanting a relationship is not the same thing. If he says before hand he is not looking for a relationship he just wants to hook up. Don't be upset when he hooks up with someone else. The whole men don't really know what they want logic is bull shit. We may not know what's best for us but we know what we want.
So it seems that the very act of dating is screwed up to begin with and I'm not sure what the problem is but I have a theory and it's a pretty easy theory. Most guys are simple creatures. We don't think things through. We'll take on projects that are beyond our scope cause we don't know better. It's like a guy saying I'm going into the woods to go camping and live of the land and all I'm bringing is a spoon. No I don't really have any wilderness survival skills but I was a boy scout for 6 weeks I'll be fine.
Women over think things they look at a situation and come up with a Million possibilities of what may happen and based on that they formulate there course of action trying to take in account all possibilities. That's like Packing for a trip with out knowing when or where you're going or how long you will be gone. It's not mentally healthy.
The very act of dating is a moron and a nut job trying to find each other... It sometimes seems impossible but it can't be because I know couples have made it work.
Than again what do I know?
Below is the actual scene from the movie.
"say there is a woman in a room with 10 men, and all 10 men are telling her how beautiful she is, and how amazing she is and they are lighting her cigarette and buying her drinks and just treating her like gold. Then all of a sudden in walks the 11th man, he takes one look at her and says "hey how ya doin'", turns his back on her and starts talking to his boys, THAT'S the guy she wants to be with, the 11th man, not any of the 10 men who were treating her well all night, but the one guy that couldn't care less, why? Because for some reason women don't want nice, they don't want real, they don't want to be treated well, I mean not at first and sometimes not ever, and I think that's crazy and I refuse to play that game .... get a girl by pretending that I don't like her, I wanna be with a woman who's real, who digs it when I'm nice to her, who doesn't see that as weakness or take me for granted when I tell her that I think she is more amazing than anything else in the entire world, but unfortunately most women aren't like that, they say they are, deep down inside they want to be, but ... they're not"
Now this theory strikes a chord with me cause as I get older I'm seeing the results of dating that 11th guy. A couple of Google searches indicate that the current divorce rate is about 43%. Many of my own friends are on there 2nd marriage or have long term relationships that can only be described as shit awful. And I don't know if the 11th man theory is the actual problem but how can a solution be found if the problem can't be identified.
I've always liked puzzles because no matter how hard the puzzle was you knew there was a solution. It could take me hours to figure it out but even if I couldn't figure it out I knew there was an answer, but not with people. You can not look on a woman's ass for a cheat code that gets you to the boss level. Trust me I've looked.
Near as I can see it there is one big problem between men and women... No one knows what's real. We read these books, watch these TV shows and see these movies and think that is how life will turn out. The couple getting together in the third act after a ton of obstacles makes for a great story but life doesn't have to be that hard.
Guys a woman will know within the first 5 minutes if she wants to sleep with you and nothing you will say or do will change that. Now like all rules there are exceptions but it will be a lot easier once you find out she is not interested in you if you assume the most you can ever be is friends.
Women a guy knows with in the first 5 seconds if he wants to sleep with you. The next 4 minutes and 55 seconds is spent figuring out if he wants more than that. A man's desire for sex is practically constant and when he sees a woman he know if he wants to have sex with her. But wanting to have sex and wanting a relationship is not the same thing. If he says before hand he is not looking for a relationship he just wants to hook up. Don't be upset when he hooks up with someone else. The whole men don't really know what they want logic is bull shit. We may not know what's best for us but we know what we want.
So it seems that the very act of dating is screwed up to begin with and I'm not sure what the problem is but I have a theory and it's a pretty easy theory. Most guys are simple creatures. We don't think things through. We'll take on projects that are beyond our scope cause we don't know better. It's like a guy saying I'm going into the woods to go camping and live of the land and all I'm bringing is a spoon. No I don't really have any wilderness survival skills but I was a boy scout for 6 weeks I'll be fine.
Women over think things they look at a situation and come up with a Million possibilities of what may happen and based on that they formulate there course of action trying to take in account all possibilities. That's like Packing for a trip with out knowing when or where you're going or how long you will be gone. It's not mentally healthy.
The very act of dating is a moron and a nut job trying to find each other... It sometimes seems impossible but it can't be because I know couples have made it work.
Than again what do I know?
Below is the actual scene from the movie.
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